3/13/11

Full calendars, and times reserved, and dates made in advance.

Long lists to do and follow-through, dissolve in happenstance.

Such scheduled blocks are all for naught despite our schemes and plans,

We author not, our roles and plots, yet act as life demands.

3/12/11

When comes my final season, where I must succumb to time,

Erect no mausoleum, lasting monument, or shrine.

Etch neither words that go unheard, nor pointless epitaphs.

Refrain from long memorials contrived on my behalf.

Recall me realistically, a common, simple man,

A mute component to the crowds in which I used to stand.

An ordinary gear in life’s prosaic manifold,

Who kept his place, allegiant, chaste, and did as he was told.

For such a proper gentleman, a plain grave should suffice,

Thus, let me rest, invisible, much as I was in life.

3/11/11

What purpose does it serve that through the night,

When evening’s veil is drawn across our minds,

A finger-painted world of unclear sights,

Parades before us, symbols, shapes, and signs?

What message lies therein I might decode,

What secrets of my soul deciphered hence,

Before the living light of day erodes,

That life my psyche, nightly, reinvents?

Perhaps the dreamer sleeps while I’m awake,

My daylight hours, but another dream,

For him to then interpret and mistake,

And puzzle from the images he’s seen.

No doubt, one life is heaven, one is hell,

And daily, we are doomed to haunt ourselves.

3/10/11

Good humor is perhaps the one salvation on this earth.

For all the salves and panaceas placed on wounds are worth,

The single cure, steadfast and sure, to nurse our ills remains,

Our curious ability to laugh at our own pain.

3/9/11

How about a magic trick?

You're 16, now you're 36.

You're 36, then 81,

And no one tells you how it's done.

3/8/11

While walking down a busy city street,
A girl approached and passed me quickly by.
At no time did our glances ever meet,
Yet, I detected swollen, tearful eyes.

And as she left,  my wonder lingered on,
Why was this wretched woman grieving so?
Long after the event had come and gone,
I had not let her air of sadness go.

Was it some failure causing her unrest?
A dream run dry, a deep wish run aground?
Perhaps some lover's quarrel caused distress,
When some upsetting truth was finally found.

I know not what had caused her to despair,
Except perhaps the thought that no one cared.

3\7\11

I kicked an object yesterday in anger and despair,

It bore me no ill will or hate. My malice was unfair.

My force drew no reaction.  Quite inanimate, it stayed,

All temporary satisfaction soon began to fade.

And as I calmed and thought, ‘this thing did nothing to offend’,

My foot began to swell and sting. I kicked it once again.

3\6\11

I’d now like to propose a toast,

To all the many times,

That we forgot to be verbose,

And simply drank our wine.

Such salutations oft forget,

Our trials as glasses clink.

And those we’d mention fortunate,

Let’s have them not be jinxed.

3\5\11

I’ve never wanted more to go to sleep,

To close my eyes and drift beneath and stay.

All that I am, let my subconscious keep,

Lest spend the nightmare of these waking days.

3/4/11

In life there is no peace or rest,
Just constant streams of endless tests,
And all with one reward in store,
To live on and be tested more.

3/3/11

The winter’s twilight, edging into spring,

Blue skies shine warmth on vacant, waking lands.

The mingled sights of dead and fertile things,

The nothing-just-before is now at hand.

The air holds neither promise nor withdrawal.

The season, neither thrives nor languishes.

The stillness hangs, like some unanswered call.

A lover’s face, unmoved, expressionless.

Within this never time, I wait and roam,

Awake, yet melting, as in fleeting dreams,

A held breath just before a note intones,

Not here nor there, but halfway in-between.

And strangely, I’m at peace, so paralyzed,

And caught betwixt tomorrow and before,

Somehow both living and yet, not alive,

Love in my heart for things which live no more.

3/2/11

This dull grey day,

Promotes ill mood,

The perfect stage on which to brood.

With fitting chills,

And apt, bleak, skies,

For failing wills and downcast eyes.

3/1/11

I wish that I could somehow hide,

For one more day of rest at least.

To shield my mind. Stave off the light,

And glare of stark realities.

Alas, my duties shall preclude,

All exercise of choice forthwith.

Farewell, fond dreams of solitude,

And lasting, happy, hermitage!

2/28/11

Back home again, all seems the same,

Just as I left it days ago,

And yet so much outside has changed from that which I have always known.

How odd to find myself entrenched,

In such familiarity,

With all that I once grasped, now wrenched away and made so strange to me.

Perhaps, when we call someplace home,

We search for words which will define,

A place advance has left alone- a shelter from the storms of time.

As creatures cling to fallen trees,

That ride deep floods and float downstream,

Do we too cling to loose debris, cast from life’s tattered plans and dreams?

Until my comforts wash away,

As all things shall disintegrate,

For now, at home, I safely stay, in sweet illusion, cheating fate.

2/27/11

If there can be a reason for distress,

If darkness falls by method or design,

It must be to remind us we are blessed

With those who rally with us in such times.

Perhaps we are but tested, now and then,

And challenged with misfortune, pain and strife,

Lest we forget the loyalty of friends,

And how much love surrounds us all our lives.

2/26/11

Upon a subway platform, here I stand,
This pivot between Williamsburg and Queens,
Here, on this spot where you and I began,
From whence I first I sought out your company.

One winter evening when I journeyed far,
And crossed the burroughs in search of your soul 
I only then suspected who you are,
And knew not of the love we would unfold.

And now years passed, we both live far from here,
Together in the place we share our life.
As I remember back across the years,
That young man's travel to his future wife,

I wonder if he could have then conceived,
One day he'd miss you here, so desperately

2/25/11

Today you went to sleep, my love.
While surgeons carried out their chores,
I kept my own mind thinking of,
The life we've had, and have in store.
I thought of all that we will do,
And all we'll love, and plan, and scheme, 
And how I'll spend my days with you.
You slept, yet it is I who dreamed.

2/24/11

When hope has failed we must make more,
Sparse, fleeting luck shall not sustain,
Lost faith must somehow be restored,
Belief must be life's true refrain. 

2/23/11

Some dogs live lives that go unsung,

But mine shall hereby be declared.

My dog’s  a sacred talisman,

Who guards my house from dark despair,

Some canines give quick tricks or stunts,

Bring slippers to their masters feet,

Some carry quarry from the hunt.

Mine fetches peace and sanity.

2/22/11

I wouldn’t give a second,

Nor let a moment pass.

I wouldn’t let remembrance fade,
From first until the last.

Although it often pains me,

To think that you’re not near,

I wouldn’t give an instant of the time that you were here.

2/21/11

There once was a woman who talked all the time.

From sunset to sunrise she preached and pronounced.

She chattered and prattled and wistfully whined,

And when irritated, expounded in shouts.

She issued, with volume, each thought in her head,

Without second thought of result or effect.

There was no intention behind what she said,

Just pure stream of consciousness, launched and beset.

And as each cacophony fell from her tongue,

What subtext did her conversation belie?

Perhaps it was just songs of terror she sung,

And fear of the silence that sounds when we die.

2/20/11

On a table in my parlor,

There a half-spent candle sits.

You were with me, sitting near me, when at first its flame was lit.

Now, your presence, but remembrance,

Yet, this candle still burns bright.

How can something so ephemeral outlive so strong a light?

Still, time passes and the wax drips,

As this too shall be consumed.

And though countless of its brethren may illuminate these rooms,

You’ll be with me, sitting near me,

Basking in the fire glow,

Of my love that lasts forever after all lights come and go.

2/19/11

A stranger who wanders familiar lands,
Left dazed by the changelessness in all he sees,
He babbles a language no one understands,
And startles each time he recieves sympathies.

The world all around him seems skewed and unfair,
But what of a sunrise should he find unjust?
The turn of this earth shows no passion or care,
And those kept upon it live on as they must.

2/18/11

Please get me off your radar, God,

And test me not again this year.

I understand this is your job,

To challenge me with pain and fear,

But, I believe that there must be,

Somebody else to focus on.

Grant me relief, a time for peace,

Just like it says in that old Psalm.

Avert, thine eyes, oh Lord divine.

Forget my blessings and my sins.

Across expanse of space and time,

I now beseech, let me blend in.

Forsake me just a little while.

Ignore me. Engage not my soul,

In myriads of earthly trials,

And cosmic games of whack-a-mole.

2/17/11

It is my earnest wish that all black suits,

Should be sewn out of paper, not of cloth,

So that they may be burned after each use,

And serve not as reminders of our loss.

All fibers become soiled with pain and grief,

Which ride our backs as heavy burdens fall,

From their dark charge, allow they be released,

Lest bitter, mournful, moments be recalled.

Let garments not absorb our miseries,

Then lay wait in our closets, ghoulishly.

2/16/11

Today, I have lost everything,

And yet, I am a wealthy man.

Today, I feel grief’s ache and sting,

And yet, I am a wealthy man.

I’ve lost my father and my friend,

And yet, your life will stay with me.

I shall not sit with you again,

And yet, you shall remain with me.

All that you gave is mine to keep,

And make my own as I go forth,.

You shall not fade, you shall not sleep,

I speak your name with no remorse,

I hold you close, and always will, 

In all I do and who I am.

I loved you then, I love you still,

For this, I am a wealthy man.

2/15/11

I sat with you in the twilight,

I drove with you in the rain,

I walked with you in the sunlight,

I stood with you and prayed,

I gave you my love and recalled you,

I wept as your life was revered,

I looked in the mirror and saw you,

And knew you will always be here.

2/14/11

An empty closet where a coat once hung,

A shelf once rich with books now stands agape,

Clean, barren, surfaces where work was done,

Dry crumbs from savored meals on unwashed plates,

All screens gone dark, all music left un-played,

Lamps coat the corners with unneeded light,

Discarded glasses stare off into space,

A clock still ticks, yet no one asks the time,

The windows, shut and breezeless, waste their views,

The chairs, like silent mourners, stand alone,

Though all appears familiar, without you,

A house may still remain, but not a home.

2/13/11

Oh, what a wonder are the human eyes,

A marvel of the universe, it’s true,

Your tears fall ‘till you think you have no more,

And then you find how many you still do.

2/12/11

A father and his children flying kites,

Unspooling string to feed their slow assent.

Their tethered toys, like butterflies, alight,

And foot by foot approach the firmament.

Upon the whipping winds, they dance and rise,

So high, we use a telescope to see.

I always used to fear of losing mine,

If it should break it’s line and wander free..

And now, I feel that tender fear again,

As I reluctantly draw out these ties,

In love of something very precious sent,

Away to sail the oceans of the sky.

I know the thread must break and free your flight,

Yet still, a child with trembling hands holds tight.

2/11/11

There’s Bebop Jazz in heaven,

The greats are all on stage.

In some small club, the songs you love will be forever played.

The band tonight is swinging,

Piano, horns, and vibes.

The drums and bass keep offbeat pace. The music comes alive.

A while, we listen with you.

We all enjoy the show.

Then comes the time to say goodbye. As we begin to go,

You smile, and turn to watch them,

Bop your head and tap your feet.

There’s Bebop Jazz in heaven, and you’ve got a front row seat.