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Mr. Cappy bought a gun,

He bought it for protection,

But there wasn't really anybody who was out to get him,

And it never made him clever,

Or any more attractive,

And it never made him more impressive, or his life protracted.

No, it didn't help to feed him,

He bought meat at the market,

And it didn't make more people need him if that was his target.

No, it didn't make him knightly,

Or strong, or fit, or taller.

He was only, very slightly, made more capable of murder.